How Long Will This Last? 5 Signs It Could Be Complicated Grief
Grief is a natural, expected reaction to the loss of our loved ones, significant relationships, or major life changes. For most people, grief follows a pattern that, while painful, eventually leads to healing. However, for some, the process can become prolonged and debilitating, evolving into what is known by mental health professionals as "complicated grief". Understanding the symptoms of this condition is important for recognizing when normal grief transitions into something more concerning. Here are five signs that your grief has taken a turn and what that could mean for your healing journey.
1. Persistent Intense Emotion
Grief naturally involves a range of intense emotions, but if these feelings remain overwhelming for an extended period, it could be a sign of complicated grief. It's normal to experience waves of sadness, anger, and despair, however, these feelings typically become less intense over time. With levels of intense grief, the pain can stay as sharp and consuming as it was initially. If these feelings persist after 6 months or so, they can start to interfere with daily life, making it difficult to function normally.
2. Avoidance Of Reminders
Another key sign of complicated grief is the avoidance of anything that reminds you of the loss. While it's common to need breaks from grieving and find distractions, those suffering from intense grief may go to great lengths to avoid places, people, and activities that bring up memories of the loss. This avoidance can significantly impact one's quality of life and prevent the natural healing process. It's as if the person is stuck in a state of denial, unable to face the reality of the loss.
3. Prolonged Focus On The Loss
Conversely, some individuals may find themselves unable to move their thoughts away from the loss. This can manifest as a continuous preoccupation with the deceased, reliving memories, and constantly thinking about the "what ifs". The consequences of constant rumination are feelings of hopelessness that hinder one's ability to engage in the present or plan for the future. They can remain in a trap of sorrow and longing.
4. Intense Yearning Or Loneliness
While longing for the loss is a normal part of grief, in complicated grief, the yearning becomes overpowering and unrelenting. It can feel as though a piece of you is missing, leading to feelings of intense loneliness and isolation, even in the company of others. Eventually, symptoms of depression may start to develop, as the person might feel that life is meaningless without whatever it is they lost.
5. Difficulty Accepting The Loss
Complicated grief also includes an extreme difficulty with acceptance. This goes beyond the initial shock that accompanies many losses. Months or even years after the event, the individual may still struggle with acknowledging that this loss is truly happening. It may look like keeping the deceased's belongings untouched, talking about them as if they are still around or alive, or feeling a persistent sense of shock or disbelief.
What Does This Mean For Healing?
Recognizing that you are experiencing complicated grief is the first step towards healing. Remember, grief is not a journey you have to take alone. Support groups can offer a sense of community and understanding.
Self-care is also vital. Grieving takes an enormous physical and mental toll, so eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, and engage in activities that bring you peace and happiness. Be patient with yourself, and take the time you need.
The Importance of Support
If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, it is essential to seek professional help. Therapists specializing in grief can provide support and strategies to help navigate the challenges of the complicated grieving process. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence based approach aimed towards healing and moving forward in life. Come join the journey of finding peace, and schedule counseling for grief today!
