From Brokenness to Wholeness: Rebuilding Trust in a Christian Marriage

Marriage, as a Christian, is often described as a sacred unification reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church. It is a bond based on love, commitment, and mutual respect. We as humans however, are flawed. We will make mistakes, and possibly hurt our loved ones, our spouse included. Even the strongest of marriages experience challenges, and when trust is broken, it may feel that the foundation that was built on mutual love and commitment is crumbling. Rebuilding trust in a marriage is a journey, but with faith, forgiveness, and effort, a relationship can transition from brokenness to wholeness.

6 Ways to Rebuild Trust

1. Be Honest and Repent

Broken trust can result from a lot of things: lying, cheating, secrecy. Whatever the case, both partners must be willing to be honest and transparent about why the trust was broken in the first place. If you were the one who broke the trust, answer questions truthfully and show remorse. On the other hand, as the partner who was hurt, be willing to express these feelings openly. Be repentant, confess, and ask one another for forgiveness.

2. Take Action and Accountability

As Christians, an important quality to have is being able to forgive those who hurt you. Sometimes though, it is not as simple. In order for one partner to forgive, the other may need to work on earning this forgiveness. We all know that actions speak louder than words, and in terms of rebuilding trust, action must be taken. Whether that's setting boundaries to protect one another, avoiding situations that cause temptation, or communicating with full transparency, actions will help a marriage overcome the hurt and prosper.

3. Communicate

While it's important to discuss the details around what happened, it should not be the only area of focus. Incorporate conversations around what is going well in the marriage. What are your goals and hopes for the future in the marriage? How can you reconnect with each as well as your faith? Discuss devotionals together, seek support from the Church, and explore bonding activities that bring you closer together. If you find yourselves struggling, seek guidance from a pastor or a marriage counselor, especially one who shares your values and beliefs.

4. Rebuild Intimacy

Rebuilding physical and emotional intimacy is another way that a marriage can focus on fostering trust. Emotional intimacy can be nurtured through quality time, meaningful conversations, expressions of love and admiration, and finding shared activities. Physical intimacy should be approached with sensitivity and respect, recognizing that it may take time to feel secure again. Attending church services, studying the Bible, or praying together can deepen the spiritual connection between partners and realign the purpose of the marriage.

5. Seeking Forgiveness

True forgiveness involves letting go of resentment and the desire for "revenge". While it can feel natural to want to get back at your partner, it's important to find peace and take the higher road. Allow space for healing, and to do this, you must free yourself from the burden of bitterness and provide forgiveness. It may require time, patience, and spiritual support, but once it is achieved, your marriage will only be stronger.

6. Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes our marriage needs a little extra guidance. Seeking help from a Christian marriage counselor can provide couples with the tools and support they need to navigate complex emotions and challenges that come from rebuilding trust. Counselors or pastors can offer a safe space for both partners to express their feelings, mediate difficult conversations, and provide strategies for healing and growth. It may even be helpful to turn to God for strength and wisdom as you overcome the challenges of rebuilding trust. Have faith that you and your partner will strengthen the bond of marriage and move forward together with love and compassion.

If you feel that you need help rebuilding trust and healing in your marriage, reach out today and book an appointment.