Is Infidelity Common? 3 Ways You Can Work Through It
Is infidelity really that common? Well, given the fact that 4 out of 10 relationships face the issue of infidelity, it's definitely worth talking about. When a partner is unfaithful, it leads to feelings of intense pain and betrayal, which can damage the relationship foundation. Infidelity is one of the most challenging issues for couples to overcome. However, when both partners are committed to the healing process, relationships can thrive, survive, and heal. But how?
What is Infidelity?
First, let's discuss what infidelity really is. While it includes adultery, it is more than that. It can also be defined as failure to meet any expectations or obligations in a relationship. Couples may have differing opinions on what it means to be an unfaithful partner. It is not necessarily a singular act, but may include:
Sending sexual or intimate texts to someone else
Developing emotional bonds with another person
Creating online dating profiles
Engaging in flirtation patterns
Imagining someone else during intimate moments
Hanging out or communicating with an ex-partner
Overall, infidelity is any act that betrays trust within the relationship.
What Causes Infidelity?
Affairs and unfaithfulness can happen in any relationship. Various factors may contribute to infidelity, such as:
Long periods of separation
Addiction or other mental health conditions
Unevenly giving and taking in a relationship
Lacking affection for one another
Lacking communication about needs and wants
Major life events or transitions
Financial losses or debt
Does Infidelity Pain Ever Go Away?
Lies, deceitful behavior, and sexual infidelity can lead to heartbreak, pain, and severed trust. There is no specific timeline for healing and it solely depends on the nature of the infidelity and the willingness to fix it. Healing from the pain has a lot to do with forgiveness. Some mistakes are too hurtful to forgive, while others take time and effort. Infidelity can, in fact, be something that couples overcome, as long as there is commitment to rebuilding trust and healing from hurt.
3 Tips to Overcome Infidelity
1. Forgiveness
Lingering feelings of disappointment, betrayal, and anger are harmful to you and to your relationship's well-being. Take your time to feel the emotions that come from your partner being unfaithful, but do not allow them to dwell and fester for too long. Not being able to forgive can tear you down both mentally and physically. Your overall sense of peace will fade away, and it may lead to resentment and prolonged anger.
It's important, although painful, to make the decision to forgive your partner. In order to move forward and rebuild the relationship, forgiveness must be the first step. It may not happen right away, but working towards moving on will restore the integrity lost in the relationship.
2. Rebuild Trust
Infidelity causes a loss of trust, and in order to move forward, this trust must be rebuilt. Work together on ways to reconcile. Open communication, access to all private emails, texts, and social media, sharing locations, and complete honesty are some ways to start. In your own time, it may be beneficial to get all the details of the affair so you can try to fully understand what happened. This can also help rebuild the trust that was broken and encourage full honesty moving forward.
3. Seek Support
It can be helpful to share the experience with trusted friends and family members who support and encourage you. You do not have to be alone while healing from the pain. If you and your partner are willing to work through these issues, seek additional support from a mental health professional.
Couples counseling sessions can help put the affair into perspective, identify issues that lead to the affair, and teach ways to strengthen and rebuild the relationship to avoid separation, if that is the desired outcome. If you are both committed to healing the relationship, reach out to book an appointment, there is hope that you both will continue to grow together.
