What to Do When You're Angry with God
Is it OK to be Angry?
Anger can often be perceived as a “bad” or threatening emotion and can be uncomfortable to experience, especially when that anger is felt toward God. Anger can signal when something needs to change, as anger might sound like “This isn’t okay!”. Anger can also be adaptive to signal us to examine something beneath the surface, such as pain, fear, sadness, injustice, or an unmet need.
However, it can feel troubling to experience anger toward God, especially when we read verses like James 1:19-20, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Yet, when crises happen and we endure pain, such as the unexpected death of a loved one, a hurting marriage, the loss of a child, a health crisis, financial loss, and much more, difficult emotions like anger can be stirred, even toward God. The thought of being angry with God can seem taboo or even irreverent or dishonoring, which can make anger with God difficult to feel and even more difficult to express. We can often be afraid to express anger to God, but the danger is that the emotion remains stuck inside us, and then we are alone with these difficult emotions, leading to more distress. This dilemma begs the question, what do you do when you’re angry with God?
How Do We Express Anger Toward God as Christians?
Foster Curiosity
Emotions offer vital information that helps us understand our needs, desires, and experiences of events and the world around us. All emotions, even anger, serve a function, and exploring this function can help us make sense of our emotions. For instance, anger can signal a need for change or when an injustice occurs or be expressed as empowerment, pain, or fear. We may feel hesitant to explore anger for fear that it will amplify it, but oftentimes, anger calms when we get curious, lean in, and get clear about its function. In fact, we can become stuck in anger when we don’t understand what’s underneath, as anger often fights for something to be attended to or acts as a plea to be heard. Some questions to boost this curiosity might include: What triggers anger? Are there other emotions alongside the anger? What do you tell yourself about anger? What do you need when these emotions arise?
Sharing with a Loving Father
When distressing and overwhelming emotions arise, these emotions become more bearable to hold in the presence of a safe, loving other. As Christians, God can often be this figure as a loving Father who can hold our anger with us. We were created for connection with others, and these strong bonds help us regulate our emotions and feel safe within ourselves again. When we spend time with God and place ourselves in His presence, this practice can aid in experiencing a deep, felt sense that God is near to us.
In this space of felt safety and connection, there can be relief in sharing our anger, the function of our anger, or what we need in that space with a loving Father who cares for us. We are meant to flourish in the presence of secure bonds, and there is immense relief and comfort when we reach to someone safe who can hold our anger with us, including God. Better yet, this process of reaching to share pain and deeper emotions with God as a loving Father can strengthen your bond with God while regulating your emotions so that you feel safe in your mind, body, and spirit again.
Finding Comfort in Counseling
If you are feeling anger with God in the aftermath of a painful life event or in response to your life circumstances, we trust that there is a good function to your anger. Christian counseling can help make sense of these emotions so you can reach and find care and comfort. Contact us today to learn more about Christian counseling!
