Overcoming Anxiety as a Christian

The Call of the Void

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm, 23:4)

This is a powerful quote, and one that I use regularly. I remember several experiences where this quote soothed my anxiety. One was on a California trip to 6 Flags Magic Mountain, a theme park known for epic rollercoasters. Now to preface this, I am afraid of heights, and not just being several hundred feet away from the ground. I have that weird syndrome the French call “L’appel du Vide” or “The Call of the Void” - where my body feels a compulsion to jump… definitely one of evolution's great ideas. So, my friends got me on the Goliath, the biggest rollercoaster at the time, and I remember distinctly saying the quote over and over in my head, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…” 

Looking back, I can feel even now that heart pounding, stomach churning, dry mouth fear - and the flood of calm I felt when saying that quote. I see now, as a psychologist, that the quote only soothed my anxiety because I had a trusting relationship with God, which was built not because someone told me to trust Him, but because I had had several key experiences in which trust was built. 

Is Anxiety Normal? 

Anxiety is a normal bodily experience, defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. God created our bodies to get anxious to improve our chances of survival, and while anxiety is helpful, it can be overwhelming. This is because anxiety has been hardwired to not differentiate between life threatening and non-life-threatening stressors. This would be adaptive if we were living 10,000 years ago. In today’s culture, however, there are many more things to be concerned about, such as: Keeping up with social media trends, cultural division, discrimination, forgetting whether or not my wife’s hair straightener was unplugged (or was it her hair curlers?... Ahhhh!). 

So how can we overcome anxiety as Christians? 

When we are overwhelmed with the threats of catastrophe, social judgement, losing control, and uncertainty in our lives, we can find a sense of safety through self-regulation (e.g., mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, etc…) and co-regulation. I’ll be specifically focusing on co-regulation. 

Emotion Co-Regulation

Emotion co-regulation occurs when we signal to others that we need help, and that signal gets responded to by a caring other. James Coan and David Sbarra (2014)’s research shows that this “other” can be tangible like a friend, family member, partner, or they can be intangible like a spiritual figure, imaginary figure, or someone long passed. Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneer in the field of Interpersonal Neurobiology, provides research on how the interplay between the brain, the mind, and relationships affect how the bonding process unfolds. When we can perceive a loving and attuned response to our fear by a caring other, in person or not, our bodies release oxytocin (a.k.a. the “trust hormone”) that helps us bond to our internal representation of them and to receive comfort in their (tangible or intangible) presence. 

A Felt Sense

As we spend time with God through religious practices (i.e. prayer, praise and worship, scripture meditation, etc…), we are, in essence, bonding with Him. As we bond, our bodies develop a felt sense of His loving presence that can be experienced as a buoy in the storms of life. This is not to be confused with moments where we pray God takes away pain, helps us win the lottery, or gives us that Criss-Cross-Crash Hot Wheels set we’ve wanted since we were 5. Rather, it is the felt sense of a loving other who comes when scary things happen. Scary things happen all the time, but we can tolerate the scariness better when we’re not alone.

Relief in the Relationship

As a practicing Christian, I’ve developed a felt sense of God through prayer and feel the warm release of tension in my body when I imagine Him close by. I imagine the experience is like how a child feels after they get lost in a mall, frantically looking for their parents; and the flood of relief when their parents find and embrace them. This is co-regulation! We build a tolerance to anxiety when we can imagine our Divine parent nearby. Where God holds our anxiety with us rather than taking it away. 

While anxiety is a natural bodily response, we are built to tolerate it with safe others nearby. As Christians, we can build this tolerance by calling to an omnipresent loving God, so that when we walk through the valleys of the shadow of death, we can confidently face the evil head on with our loving Father.

If you are having difficulties managing anxiety in your life and struggle to reach others in times of need, you may benefit from professional help to develop self-regulating skills and to remove blocks that keep you from co-regulating with God and others. 

If you would like to connect with a Christian therapist, contact us below.